Mom Venting....

ugh. i am feeling like i need to vent to myself here on our little internet space. i am one tired momma. no really though. i am feeling like i am on my last straw and i just don't know what to do at this point. as a mom i go through out the day just waiting for bed time, but in all reality, i hate night time. why? because waking up every 45 minutes to an hour all. night. long. for the past 6 months is freakin tiring. and it's just me too. olive is out cold (thankfully) and for the most part, so is dave. because scotti girl won't take a bottle for the life of me.

by the time olive hit a year old, i told myself that i would do things differently with future babies. olive never slept through the night until just before scotti was born. but she sleeps in our bed. :/ but she only woke up once, had bottle and went back to sleep until eight in the morning. high five olive. i started out doing things completely different with scotti. i breast fed her (and am still currently breast feeding) and by a month and a half she was in her crib in her own room. down the hall from us. it took about a week or two and i had her sleeping from 9:00 pm to about 6:00 am, nursed and went back to sleep for an hour or two. and that lasted until about 5 months. and then i let her get in this HORRIBLE habit of letting her nurse to pacify herself during her afternoon nap so that she would sleep longer. i got olive and scotti on the same afternoon nap schedule which is amazing! and for a while there i was napping with them. the longer scotti slept, the longer i slept. ;) and then that habit continued onto night time. i put up with it for a little bit and then things got cray cray. waking up every hour sometimes sooner. so it got to the point where she would just go to sleep in our bed and stay there the entire night. blah, blah, blah. don't judge me!

i have loved my experience breast feeding this time around, we have created such a special bond. she loves it and i love it. but i really wish i hadn't created such a bad habit with her. i'm sure i could continue nursing her even past her 12 month mark. but i am emotionally tired. and physically tired. she is an amazing, perfect little human. but here i am venting to my blog because i want to freaking punch someone if she won't sleep! i did a lot of reading and got a lot of advice from other mom's when i was going through sleepless nights with olive. and i've tried about a million things. dave and i are both people that do not do the whole, 'put them in the crib and let them cry it out' thing. actually, i strongly disagree with it. but we don't need to go there.  this week we have started the weaning process. slowly. i have cut back her feedings, so now instead of nursing every 2-3 hours a day, she is nursing only 3 times a day. (morning, afternoon, night) she has done amazing.  we do snacks and attempt whole milk. she loves eating so she has no problem with that. but this milk thing has been difficult. like i said before, she has never taken a bottle and has always been such a stinker when we've tried. so giving her something other than breast milk or water has been an adjustment. sigh. we'll get there. this is the week we, and when i say we, i mostly mean me are breaking that horrible habit of nursing to pacify. it lasted one night. or should i say half a night. right now, she is running around the living room playing because she won't sleep. and she has already had her night time feeding. so here we are. someone come do this for me please!! lol! i still love you scotti girl, but you are a horrible sleeper. goodnight.